Meli's world

I always wondered how missionaries felt when God called them to leave the comfort of their homes, families, safety, and churches to go somewhere unknown to preach the gospel. I wondered if they were scared. I wondered what would happen if they resisted and didn't follow the calling placed before them. Four years ago after living with my parents, we were able to purchase our first home. Somehow being a homeowner at the age of 23 gave me a sense of pride. The house was an answered prayer.  A lot of sweat, hard work and tears. This house signified freedom and peace to my family and I. We all went from sharing the master bedroom in my parent's home to having the privacy we wanted as a married couple. And the kids would share a room for now. I remember thinking this was only our starter home. It wasn't in the area we envisioned and at 2 bedrooms, it was also smaller then we wanted for our family. But the numbers worked out. God opened doors and worked everything in our f...

In the past couple of months as Emerald and I were seeking direction as to what is next and how I could pursue the teaching career I felt called to.... we brainstormed, prayed and listened and waited like never before. As we came to a decision, I know that trusting and following God's lead is the right thing to do.... however as we move in to the unknown, fear has tried to settle in and cripple my mind. I have to admit I like to know things will work out. Im a planner, a budgeter, and I like to feel I'm in control.  I'm excited to be moving in another level of obedience yet terrified of not knowing how it will all work out or if we are even doing the wise thing. Today was rough.... with so many things up in the air and me wrestling with my emotions, I don't even think my husband wants to be around me. So I'm listening to worship music and Jesus Culture- Let it Echo comes on. In the comments that I never read.... is a word I felt was straight from God to my heart...

The above picture was taken in 2011 when Emeli was just 1 month old. It was one of our first family pictures as a family of 4 and also our first date night after having her. I found this picture today while looking for a throwback picture to post on facebook.  I remember being so scared having another baby. She was not in our plans... We were still living at my parents house and didn't have things in order. I was scared of another c-section, of not being able to provide, and of not being able to split myself between Manny and her. Silly fears.... Almost 4 years later, I gotta say looking back at what God has done is one way to remain grateful. I can sing of His goodness forever! The C- section was less painful than I imagined and I went home on the second day. We bought our first home just a couple months later. God has made all the numbers and finances work. There is a love that has been multiplied in my heart for both my Em & Ems. And seeing Manny become a big broth...

I said yes.... and no he did't just propose and its not a big rock on my finger. Its actually the ring we bought 10 years ago on his Checker's (fast food restaurant) salary. It is real gold and has real diamonds, but I had to laugh at the fact we picked it out inside Kmart's jewelry department. Its funny someone asked me about the other day since I still wear it on my right hand from time to time... and it just dawned on me, that was our "engagement" and "wedding ring" for a long time.  Today is not our wedding anniversary. Today marks 11 years together. It was Friday the 13th in that warm February that we became more than friends. It's also kind of ironic that I name titled this blog "I said yes" cause on this particular day that we celebrate every year, I didn't actually say yes. Nothing was asked. He had actually called me that Tuesday evening to tell me he "liked" me. The week progressed by me telling him I did ...

That day in the car something changed. I heard God. I felt His love. I saw His forgiveness. I saw my sin. I saw how far I'd come and how much wrong I had done. I saw that I had made the idea of this perfect love my idol. And now that it failed me and it hadn't been perfect, I was ready to give up. I'd made Emerald my idol, and even in my idea of "love", I hadn't been able to love him wholly and pure. All that love wasn't even able for me to extend my forgiveness to him as he had to me in the past. That day had to be the day mercy came down and found me right there in my car. I can't quite explain it. It was like I had been given a new set of eyes. I could feel the hurt of betrayal yet I could feel His love fill my heart. I could see the mess I was in, but I could see the pieces He could put back together. I could decide to quit and have that be the end to my dream, but He showed me it could a new beginning. He wasn't only working in me, but ...

Today was a beautiful day here in Florida...hot, sunny and humid. Typical for an August day. We spent it at the park at a picnic from my husband, Emerald's job. With all the things I witnessed today I figured it be a perfect time to follow up on my blog series: MIA Marriage is awesome. Today's topic: boundaries. My husband works as a customer service representative at an A.C. Company. Its like a store and a warehouse where he sits at a counter making sales to customers or clients that walk in or call on the phone. Its a mostly male dominated field and he's had great opportunity to move up from warehouse manager and driving deliveries. Now its a great job, and I've always trusted my husband because as I've said before we tell each other everything, but recently a female got hired to work there to do the same thing he does. Sitting at the same counter 40 hours a week. I have to admit, it was a little difficult to get used to the idea, but having learned so much...