Meli's world

If I am going to be honest, when I started this blog I wanted to name it Meli's Messes, because when it comes to marriage, and motherhood, I feel I have made a lot of messes of it all. I struggle with feeling inadequate and like a complete failure at times. I am not sure what triggers this when I thought of myself as "confident" and the fact my truth is rooted in God's word (for the most part). Perhaps it is the pictures we paint on social media of perfection. Perhaps its our brains are oversaturated with looking at images of other Moms who seem to do it all. Work 60 hours a week, meal prep cooking gourmet healthy meals for the family, working out 5 hours a day even becoming body builders, or running a home based business, all while being able to homeschool or be present at every school event, and looking completely wonderful with their blowdried hair looking like they came out of a salon or stepped out of a Tresemme commercial. Their nails are done...

Everybody knows that song from the famous show, "The Jefferson’s".... you know the one that says they finally got a piece of the Pie. I think that's exactly what my kids would have been singing last night if they knew the song.  The past couple of weeks, I have been one of those crazy moms. I have been driven crazy by sibling rivalry and the constant yell of “ That’s not fair”. My son and daughter want to make sure everything is fair. That they get the same snack, get the same amount of television or tablet time, that they get served equal portions and that I even compliment them equally. It’s been a lesson I have been trying to get through to them all the time: LIFE IS NOT FAIR. Yes, as a mom I love them equally, and will always try my best to make sure they feel the love, but I cannot measure every single word, gift, or food I ever give them. And I cannot control the things that happen to them out of our home either. Sometimes Emeli will get a movie day, or Ma...

Yesterday was my day off of work. It couldn't have come at a better time since we are busy and non-stop since Hurricane Matthew had us cancel and reschedule over 80 patients last week pending its arrival. Matthew. The hurricane that never came, thank God. I spent my day volunteering at my kids school, catching up on my budgeting, and enjoying a lunch date with my hubby. Since it was Wednesday when we usually attend church, I figured I could make a quick trip to Target after I picked up the kids from school since my fridge was almost bare. I managed to get them earlier since I went right at dismissal time and decided I could bribe them with ice cream beforehand so they could behave and have it really be a quick trip through the aisles. Bad idea! Don't give your kids a sugar rush and expect them to behave. I should have saved it for after! When we got there, I had 3 missions : picking up a new foundation and lipstick for myself, check out something nice for Emerald (my...

Even though I was reminded I havent blogged in 52 days, I had to write my end of year blog. Before I can even think, plan or imagine what 2016 can hold for me, I have to reflect and thank God for the wonderful year 2015 has been. At the beginning of the year, I felt God tell me the word for the year would be BRAVE, and all I could imagine was to face the year with Courage, without Fear. So the year started like most with my birthday..... turning 26 and feeling great about where I am in this point at my life. I could hang on to a million regrets about not having gone to college or having a "career", but I look at my husband, my kids and all that we have created and i know i am right where God wants me. Its been His grace and mercy that have provided and continue to sustain me. I can say I didnt blog as much as I did last year, or as much as I wanted to. But I did feel like I was investing and being present in the moment with everything i was given. I have gained so muc...

This past weekend, we decided to take the kids to watch Peanuts. I grew up reading Charlie Brown comics in the Sunday paper and loved all the TV Holiday specials so much. I thought it would be a great day for our kids to gain appreciation for these old classic characters. And Emeli thinks Snoopy is just the cutest dog ever, so they were just as thrilled. We, as parents, are very selective with what movies we support at the box office and what  we allow our kids to watch, but with a "G" rating and good reviews it sounded like something that would really just be innocent fun cartoons. We didn't know what to expect as far as the story line, but as someone who lives in a cartoon world in my own head, I was pleasantly surprised there were no villains. Besides a red airplane that Snoopy daydreams and writes about. The main story line was Charlie Brown's "inadequacy". He always felt he was just ackward, with no real talent, or anything to make him stand ou...

As I sit here an write this on my lunch break at work, I realize its the first lunch break in a while where I'm not running errands. I started so strong in my lunchtime walks, and then things just started coming up and well they just were no longer my priority. I realize life gets so hectic and all I want to do is scream sometimes:::: ahhhhh!!! This was the same thing that was trying to keep me from making it to church last night. I rushed. Got the kids dressed and fed but after rushing around, several tantrums, I was exhausted and just didn't want to go. I didnt want to go to the thing I needed the most : God's presence... Worshipping Him and taking my mind of everything that stresses me, and just getting into His word hearing what He had to tell me. Thank God I have a husband who promised me he wouldn't let me skip church service anymore. I find that before I knew Jesus, I was always trying to do. To accomplish and boasts on my academic achievements or awards...

I know its a bit of a change from the usual Lessons with Manny, but I do have two kids. And just because she is 3, that does not mean that there's nothing from me to learn from her. Or at least to be reminded of things. Before I sat down to write this, I was in my room charging my lap top and going through some things in my notebook, when all of a sudden she got really quiet. She was in my room going though my drawers when all of a sudden she is no where to be seen or heard. I got up and she wasn't behind my sleigh bed. Instead she was in my closet. Wearing my heels. She'd gone in there so quietly closed the door and was trying on all my shoes. She seemed so surprised that I caught her in there. She seemed to thing if she was quiet enough and she did it behind closed door, no one would know. Of course, I wasn't mad. She looked so cute and told me she wanted slippers like Cinderella. I was more concerned she'd get hurt but I had to take a picture of this little ...

I just came back yesterday from taking two weeks off my job. I had enough Paid time off accrued now that I have been there over 6 years and it was the first time I took this much time off. I planned it specifically to have my son's winter break from school off as well. 2 weeks of being home and enjoying the family.We didn't have a specific trip planned, we weren't going out of state or out of the country or on a cruise. We were just going to take it day by day and enjoy the time to focus on family.   It started out with a trip to Lego Land. Its not more than 4 hours away, and I had discount tickets though my employer benefits. It was awesome. All the rides were targeted to kids ages 3-12 but as adults we were able to get on and enjoy their excitement. A few roller coasters but nothing too extreme. The lines were short. The crowds weren't too bad. And the prices for food and souvenirs were inexpensive in comparison to Disney or Universal theme parks. We had an a...

         I know conflict and cheating! Ooohhh controversial title for a post entitled Marriage is Awesome. My marriage is awesome! But I'd be lying to you if I said we are conflict free. Or that we are so perfect cheating is something we are completely exempt from. So to clear up misconceptions if you're a newly wed, engaged or contemplating marriage, don't look forward to a conflict free happily ever after kind of marriage. Instead be prepared and take some pointers from someone who thought each conflict was the end of her marriage. And as for cheating, its a temptation you may have to deal with as a married man or woman but there's so much you can do to prevent it. Broken doors, holes in walls, driving out in the middle of the night. Yup. Anger. Conflict. Disagreements. Marriage is not always awesome. And as two immature teenagers who have basically figured everything out as we went along, things weren't always hearts and cloud...

Last night we decided to make it a movie night since I was sick all day. We always like to pick family movies that we can enjoy with the kids. We ended up watching "Mom's Night Out". The movie was all about a stay at home who had 3 kids, and always felt overwhelmed with everything. These kids' misbehavior was definitely exaggerated for the movie. She was a clean fanatic who was also trying to run a blog. She seemed a bit OCD trying to have everything in order and under control all the time and there was so much in her that I could relate to! As a mom, there were so many expectations I held in my mind before I actually had kids. I still have expectations in my head on a daily basis. All ones that I'm learning to let go of. In my mind, the kids will be great, we will have a nice family meal, do school work and still have family time or reading time. In my mind everyone will say yes mom and get things done. In my mind, I won't burn the rice. The kids will eat ...

  Growing up in a Hispanic household, things were a bit old fashioned. My dad worked; Overtime, double shifts, and more than 1 job if necessary to take care of us. My mom, as far as I could remember in my childhood was a stay at home mom. As a kid, this is what I envisioned all marriages were like. My mom was up early to see my dad off for work, and have breakfast served and his lunch packed. When he worked the overnight, she also made sure dinner was served at 11pm before his shift. She stayed at home taking care of us, taking us to the library, playground, outside, anywhere we could go without a car. I watched my mom serve my dad daily. Day in and day out, washng dishes, cooking, laundry, and all the to do things in the house while my dad worked. I never thought any less of any of them. As a kid, I loved having my mom home and getting to spend time with her. And in my mind, that’s what the man did, work to provide. Sure, I missed my dad, but the one Saturday a week he was ...

That's it. The kids are off to bed. His uniform and shoes are all laid out. His transformers backpack is packed and his lunchbox is set out in the kitchen. His first day of first grade awaits him. And all I want to do is cry. When I was a kid, I hated school. It had a lot to do with not knowing any English as I started kindergarten and being placed in an E.S.O.L. Class with a teacher who only spoke Creole. I was sent to timeout all the time for not following directions. Directions I could not understand. After various doctor visits, plenty absences and even trips to the psychologist, they finally found out what was wrong. I hated school! Eventually, I got a new teacher, learned English and made friends yet somehow the damage was already done. I dreaded going there. I can still smell the expo markers and the BBQ sauce from the cafeteria. Perhaps that's why I graduated early and never went to college. Thankfully, our son has had a different experience. English is his firs...