Meli's world

  A couple months ago I prematurely announced on my facebook to family and friends that I have decided I want to be a teacher.... and I still do. Except with the thought of loans and school debt, and lots of praying, came the selling of our home. Selling our home allowed us to wipe 12 years of debt and also to look forward to going to school and obtaining a Bachelor's in Elementary education which is my goal and dream job. However, in these months we have been going through the process of selling not only our home but also getting rid of a lot of our possessions, moving, and still continuing kids ministry at church, I have had a lot of time to think, pray and reflect. And wait. I didn't sign up to start in the fall like I originally wanted since life has been hectic. But I'm thinking God wanted me to wait since my heart doesn't feel as confident anymore. I know the heart is deceitful above all things, but making a life decision like this this definitely h

Everybody knows that song from the famous show, "The Jefferson’s".... you know the one that says they finally got a piece of the Pie. I think that's exactly what my kids would have been singing last night if they knew the song.  The past couple of weeks, I have been one of those crazy moms. I have been driven crazy by sibling rivalry and the constant yell of “ That’s not fair”. My son and daughter want to make sure everything is fair. That they get the same snack, get the same amount of television or tablet time, that they get served equal portions and that I even compliment them equally. It’s been a lesson I have been trying to get through to them all the time: LIFE IS NOT FAIR. Yes, as a mom I love them equally, and will always try my best to make sure they feel the love, but I cannot measure every single word, gift, or food I ever give them. And I cannot control the things that happen to them out of our home either. Sometimes Emeli will get a movie day, or Ma

Yesterday was my day off of work. It couldn't have come at a better time since we are busy and non-stop since Hurricane Matthew had us cancel and reschedule over 80 patients last week pending its arrival. Matthew. The hurricane that never came, thank God. I spent my day volunteering at my kids school, catching up on my budgeting, and enjoying a lunch date with my hubby. Since it was Wednesday when we usually attend church, I figured I could make a quick trip to Target after I picked up the kids from school since my fridge was almost bare. I managed to get them earlier since I went right at dismissal time and decided I could bribe them with ice cream beforehand so they could behave and have it really be a quick trip through the aisles. Bad idea! Don't give your kids a sugar rush and expect them to behave. I should have saved it for after! When we got there, I had 3 missions : picking up a new foundation and lipstick for myself, check out something nice for Emerald (my

Dear Emeli Sofia, My princess, my chiquita, mi niña linda! Happy 5th birthday! Today you are 5! Its such a huge milestone.....  As I lay here next to you watching you sleep I can't help but thank God for your life, for choosing me to be your mom and for letting me experience such a love. You are everything I didn't know I needed. You are one brave young lady. And though you just started kindergarten less than two weeks ago, you have already matured so much into following directions, making friends and being away from grandma or family for such a long period of time. It probably makes it easy you already know so much from your alphabet, to colors, and simple math. This past year has brought ypu lots of growth. Its a big difference to when you cried everyday refusing to go to pre-k. Its awesome to see your personality blossom and watch you become the unique you you are right before my eyes. You love swimming!!! And fashion trying different colors, hairstyles and ac

I always wondered how missionaries felt when God called them to leave the comfort of their homes, families, safety, and churches to go somewhere unknown to preach the gospel. I wondered if they were scared. I wondered what would happen if they resisted and didn't follow the calling placed before them. Four years ago after living with my parents, we were able to purchase our first home. Somehow being a homeowner at the age of 23 gave me a sense of pride. The house was an answered prayer.  A lot of sweat, hard work and tears. This house signified freedom and peace to my family and I. We all went from sharing the master bedroom in my parent's home to having the privacy we wanted as a married couple. And the kids would share a room for now. I remember thinking this was only our starter home. It wasn't in the area we envisioned and at 2 bedrooms, it was also smaller then we wanted for our family. But the numbers worked out. God opened doors and worked everything in our fav

In the past couple of months as Emerald and I were seeking direction as to what is next and how I could pursue the teaching career I felt called to.... we brainstormed, prayed and listened and waited like never before. As we came to a decision, I know that trusting and following God's lead is the right thing to do.... however as we move in to the unknown, fear has tried to settle in and cripple my mind. I have to admit I like to know things will work out. Im a planner, a budgeter, and I like to feel I'm in control.  I'm excited to be moving in another level of obedience yet terrified of not knowing how it will all work out or if we are even doing the wise thing. Today was rough.... with so many things up in the air and me wrestling with my emotions, I don't even think my husband wants to be around me. So I'm listening to worship music and Jesus Culture- Let it Echo comes on. In the comments that I never read.... is a word I felt was straight from God to my heart

  About 3 months ago, I was put on blood pressure medication. It upset me. It bothered me and I didn't tell many people about it. I rather avoid the lectures on how I wouldn't have hypertension if I only lost weight. I get it. I'm trying. However, I was rather relieved to hear that I was considered a mild case and we would start getting it under control with only 5mg of Lisonopril for three months and then re-evaluate. Hearing that most women who have pre-eclampsia, which I did in my first pregnancy are more likely to develop it, also took away the guilt feeling. Whether hereditary or weight related, it did help motivate me to  make healthier decisions in my diet and to start walking and getting some exercise in. But as a busy mom and wife, the 3 months went faster then I thought and I didn't schedule my follow up on time. I ran out of my pills that Tuesday since the doctors office was closed on monday, Memorial day. Thinking I could wait, my appointment was

This past week some days were cloudy, dark, and rainy with just a few hours of sunshine in between. And sometimes that's exactly the state of mind we fall in to. Cloudy, rainy and barely sunny.  I wallowed in self pity about almost everything and my mood was deteriorating fast.... it was like my mind went from Sunny Florida days to thunderstorms rolling in almost immediately like a typical summer afternoon. I was frustrated with my cravings and lack of weight loss despite doing more then ever before. I was frustrated with what seems to be the kids never ending fighting and bickering.  I was feeling annoyed by my husband despite him being the sweet loving guy who comes home to help me with dinner..... I was lamenting that right now is not a good time to pursue education.... I was even listening to the voice that says I can't blog about what I'm learning. ...... I haven't learned it yet. For the past two weeks, I was more attentive to my feelings then the word of

Finally today I can say I have a brand new windshield! This past Friday, when I was leaving work I noticed my windshield had two small cracks. I don't park under a tree and it wasn't obvious it had taken a hit by anything. It was two lines that you couldn't even feel and I had no idea how they got there. It didnt seem to have a point of impact. It just seemed to have cracked within the glass itself.   I immediately went home to check where we could replace it and how much it would cost because I was worried it would break even more. Of course because of the weekend, the estimates we got were extremely high and I didn't want my weekend to be interrupted by having to take it somewhere to be fixed. The weekend went by and the windshield made it through so we were determined to find a place to take it to monday. When Monday came and I shared the story with my awesome knowledgeable coworker she told me it should be covered under my insurance. Duh!!! Why didn&

I know.... what a dramatic title. But most of you who know me know one of my favorites is Christian hip hop. And in the words of Lecrae, this is something I've been thinking about a lot the past couple of weeks. "If I die tonight, I gon' know that I Gave this with my everything If I die tonight If I die tonight, you ain't gotta cry Cause I know that Heaven waits If I die tonight"- Lecrae I started trying to eat healthy and clean a couple of weeks back.  I figured I would start feeling better more energetic and this time around I'd finally conquer my weight. Except, I started feeling like I hadn't before. Tired. Out of breath. No energy. Headaches. Sweating and feeling hot almost daily.  At first, I thought it was just my allergies and the b-12 deficiency I've dealt with in the past. But it was worse. And soon, I felt I couldn't exercise or have the energy to meal plan at the end of the day I wanted to sleep. one day, I looked at my hands

Last week we celebrated the beginning of us. 12 years since I became your girlfriend and my life has never been the same. I decided I wanted to write you a letter like those we wrote in class so many times and folded in a special way. I don't know what we thought in our teenage minds about life, but one thing was for sure, I loved our friendship. You made me smile and I couldn't wait to go to school just to see you the next day waiting by the gym like you always did You were smart, funny, and had a fresh humor... you were able to insult.me and compliment me in the same sentence. You challenged me to speak up, to not wear make up, to do things that would make me uncomfortable and help me grow.... you helped my English and did my homework for Algebra 2..... you took buses and taxis just to see me. You would take the city bus all the way to Albertsons with me just so I wouldn't be alone. You spoiled me with all types of stuffed animals and surprises. You introduced me

Once upon a time, there was a girl who started a journey to tackle all the "buts" and excuses she'd been making and finally lose weight. That journey started a year ago, and  now that she's finally reached her goal, she lived healthily ever after..... -The End. As a kid I loved reading stories that ended like that. But that's not what happened. A year ago, I had my mind made up to conquer my struggles and embark on a journey of healthy choices and exercise. I can say that I'm not where I envisioned.... I can't even say I succeeded at losing weight or on maintaning a healthy lifestyle. I was set, I was determined and somewhere along the way I lost all motivation. Most of you may remember the post I wrote on my 26th birthday last year where I finally pinpointed all the buts I'd been using to not tackle the weight issue. I have struggled with so much of this burden for so long. I go from being disciplined and ready to make a change planning meals a