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Seasons......



Hello!

I haven't been writing much and I surely miss it. But God definitely gives us seasons. The past season was a busy one. Busy at work, at church and the kids school and soccer. This season, we decided to stop letting busyness consume us, take it back a bit and only be fully committed to a few things.

I found that in my busyness trying to do for others, for God, for my family.... I was feeling drained. Mentally, emotionally and physically. My health was suffering and I even gained weight despite new workout routines. I was taking on too much. and I was afraid to admit it. I was afraid to say I couldn't do it all.

I finally broke a couple weeks ago after a women's conference at our church titled "Simply Jesus". It was God speaking to me letting me know all I need is Jesus. Alone time with Him, seeking Him, pursuing Him.  A reminder to Abide and Remain in HIM. The vine. God spoke to me that day and I was reminded to see myself in HIS truth.

Since that Conference and an encouraging talks with some ladies, I decided to allow God to do some pruning. I realized how much more I need to ABIDE and grow my roots fully in Christ Alone. I don't ever want to serve, serve, serve and do, do , do for show but have my life be empty. I want to be a vessel full of Him..... one that brings HIM glory in all I do. Not attempting to do MORE all the time. But to give Him my life, my heart and every little things I do.

I decided I needed to commit myself to seeking HIM more and letting HIM be my priority. Not my kids, not my hubby, not my blog, my friends, or my social media. But Him alone. time in prayer and HIS word. I need to spend time filling myself of HIM before I could ever pour out into anyone.

I needed to take a break from extra curriculars like Soccer and clubs. And just focus on being their mom. Spending time with them, in conversation, in lessons. and in family time. I need to spend more time enjoying where they are and the time I am given with them. I needed to do more to pray for them and give them wisely counsel and train them up in HIS ways.

I needed to stop feeling like it was my sole duty to encourage and reach out to every person on my mind and in my life. That was draining me. I am not saying its wrong to care or to want to encourage and reach out, its just at this point running on empty, I was so focused on pouring, I wasn't focusing on being poured into. I knew this was a time in my life where I could step back and draw near to Jesus to be filled solely by Him. To allow myself to know its ok to simply pray for those we love and let God take care of them. Because HE loves them and cares for THEM more then I ever could. And to also know God's plan for their life doesn't depend on me.

I needed to stop letting insecurities fill my soul. I was seeing old thoughts and negativity cloud my mind. I wasn't seeing myself in God's truth and not only was I letting doubt set in but it was also creating a barrier between my husband and I. Working out like crazy was not working. I wasn't feeling energetic or "confident" in who I was and health fears were also bothering me. I had so many things pending to take care of me and with the weight not coming down, I felt I had to check myself out. I knew this was a time to handle all my appointments, check ups and pending tests. and let me tell you I was scared. In this busyness I had failed to meal plan, cook, eat healthy and take care of me. I prayed that God would give me the courage to do all the exams and even told HIM this time, I would finally tackle the weight. 5 appointments later and with all the tests done, I can PRAISE the Lord and say all is well. And that I have taken this time of our church wide fast to give up SUGAR, and CARBS , and make it a healthy lifestyle change to learn discipline and self control. To take care of the one body I have been given.

Its been probably a whole month, since I decided to not feel the need to DO and DO as if trying to earn His love and I have to say its liberating. Its freeing to rest in HIM and know that He is in control. That all He demands of ME is my heart and time spent in His presence. Everyday, I am learning to focus on taking care of my home, my family and my relationship with Jesus which is the most important thing I will ever do.


Today I encourage you to also know there is nothing that is required of you to earn HIS Love. It is freely given by Him. Not because of what you have done , but because of what Jesus DID. So often in seasons of life, it seems I forget this.... so don't. Make your relationship with HIM your priority and see how HE will fill you, strengthen you and GUIDE you to everything else.

In these past weeks, I have been able to lose weight and know that I am working on my health. I have had people reach out to me and pour into me instead. I have seen God remind me of HIS truth and strengthen my marriage through this..... and I have seen so many other things that plagued my mind fall into place. But most of all I have felt HIS love and peace admitting all my shortcomings.


Please know no matter what you have failed to do, You are loved!
"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39

love,
Meli

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