A Better Love

I find so many of the lessons God teaches me come through parenting. The week before last, I encountered one of those situations as a mom that made me feel like Momma bear ready to protect her cubs at all cost.

My son Emmanuel, has been dealing with a difficult kid all year long. I found that it seemed like no matter what, it was difficult for my son to get along with this boy. He told me stories of this boy being rude, calling others names, and making fun of anything my son did including him getting new glasses. Our response as parent, was always for Emmanuel to choose kindness and respond with an encouragement for the kid to remind him he could do better. Emmanuel was slowly losing his patience.  And I couldn't understand why they budded heads so much when they were once friends in 1st grade.

I didn't address any of these stories with my son's teacher until the day he came home telling me the other boy kicked him. That same day an email went out to my son's teacher. I let her know I had been hearing of this kid all year but physical contact was were I drew the line and that I was concerned as to how my son was going to react. Emmanuel is 9 and though I hope he grows to be patient, long suffering and loving- I also knew he was not going to allow himself to become a victim of bullying. The teacher agreed and told me she would keep an eye on the situation and take disciplinary measures against the other kid for getting physical.

The following week we had a conference where Emmanuel's teacher had nothing but awesome things to say. As the end of the year conference, she reassured me he was more then ready for 4th grade. She said she finds it difficult to keep him focused but only because he finishes his work very quickly and she did not know how else to keep him challenged. She told me he was very respectful and friendly and that he was able to lead well as vice president of the 3rd grade. When I brought up the situation with the other boy, she reassured me his issue was not only getting along with my son, but instead the whole class. She told me the boy had social issues and that she had been working alongside his parents all year to solve his behavior. I left that conference not only proud of his academic accomplishments, but also relieved to know he wasn't the issue. Believe me, I was ready to correct him and discipline him if necessary. But she confirmed what I knew deep in my heart: Manny was being respectful and not the one seeking to bother this little boy.

So you can only imagine my surprise when a week later, my son comes home with tears building up in his eyes. He gets to my car at dismissal and my heart sank because I knew from his face something was wrong. Upon questioning, I find out how much of a rough day he had. His teacher, that he loves and respects and who just gave me such a good report on him, had told him that she takes back everything she had ever said about him being good and her trusting him. And I was not only shocked, but hurt for him. Those words crushed him. What had happened that day was so beyond my comprehension. I was baffled at how quick things could change and angry at the fact my son had been sent to the guidance counselors office where he was treated as and labeled as a bully.

Upon hearing all of this, I was angry.  LIVID. ready to turn around and speak to anyone at the school in person. Surely someone had to tell me what he did wrong. Someone had to explain why my son had the worst day ever in all his schoo years. Why was he being treated as the aggresor and so called bully after all the issues I had brought up before and why was he treated this way without  me being made aware of accusations.

As a mom I wanted to protect my son from these words, from this unjust discipline and from these accusations that were tarnishing his reputation. But I also wanted to know if there was something I was missing in this ordeal.

The next day after lots of prayer amd discussion with my husband I was able to address the situation with the administrator, guidance counselor and teacher. Even the other boy's dad. First of all I armed myself with all the facts I needed to defend Emmanuel. No prior issues in 4 years at this school, straight A student. And the good conference report I had just received plus the previous emails I had sent regarding this kid. Then I found out this all started because Manny, my son had enough when this kid threw a football in his face and he threw it right back. This left a mark on his face and he went home telling his dad Emmanuel had not only been bullying him all year, but that he had hit him, hence the mark.
This dad understandly furious reached out to the school and my son was reprimanded. Thankfully there were witnesses that showed things had not happened that way. After some more investigating..... the teacher apologized to Manny. She called me and apologized and understood Manny had never been a bully. And I also got an apology from the administration as to how they handled the situation.

But what's most important is what I learned.

First, is that I have prayer warriors ready to pray for me, and my son whenever I request

Second, that a teachers words in a kids mind weigh very heavily. And for that reason I am so grateful that the very day he was feeling so crushed, his second grade teacher took the time to speak to him on the phone and encourahe him and adviced him as to how to handle the situation.

But last, I medidated on Exodus 14:14 :::
"The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."

Because all I requested of my son is for him to tell me the truth regarding the situation. Other than that I was going to fight for him, the truth and his reputation no matter what. In the meantime, he could be still go to school and rest assured that I was going to defend him and make it right.

And then God spoke to my heart and reminded me that just as a mom who'd be willing to do so much for her son because of love, that His better love could do sooo much more. It doesn't matter what's been said to you or what situation you have found yourself in, He knows and He fights for you. Just as a parent who would step in to make it right for you, so does HE.... even more. He knows you. He knows the Truth and He is JUST!

If you are a parent, you can relate to that love that overflows for our kids, willing and ready to do things that we promised we would never do.... and if you aren't perhaps you know how your parents feel and the way they have demonstrated that over and over. Imagine a better love.... thats the kind of love we get from our Father.

It doesn't matter how you messed up, how you overreacted, how much someone has hurt you, or provoked you or whats been said about you.... He desires nothing more then to right those wrongs and comfort you. He died for you and to be able to connect you to Him. To have that relationship where you hand over your life, your issues, and every accusation or harsh word...... and He fights for you with a better love then we could ever imagine.

I encourage you to be Still and rest in that truth today!!!