Meli's world

In the past couple of months as Emerald and I were seeking direction as to what is next and how I could pursue the teaching career I felt called to.... we brainstormed, prayed and listened and waited like never before. As we came to a decision, I know that trusting and following God's lead is the right thing to do.... however as we move in to the unknown, fear has tried to settle in and cripple my mind. I have to admit I like to know things will work out. Im a planner, a budgeter, and I like to feel I'm in control.  I'm excited to be moving in another level of obedience yet terrified of not knowing how it will all work out or if we are even doing the wise thing. Today was rough.... with so many things up in the air and me wrestling with my emotions, I don't even think my husband wants to be around me. So I'm listening to worship music and Jesus Culture- Let it Echo comes on. In the comments that I never read.... is a word I felt was straight from God to my heart

  About 3 months ago, I was put on blood pressure medication. It upset me. It bothered me and I didn't tell many people about it. I rather avoid the lectures on how I wouldn't have hypertension if I only lost weight. I get it. I'm trying. However, I was rather relieved to hear that I was considered a mild case and we would start getting it under control with only 5mg of Lisonopril for three months and then re-evaluate. Hearing that most women who have pre-eclampsia, which I did in my first pregnancy are more likely to develop it, also took away the guilt feeling. Whether hereditary or weight related, it did help motivate me to  make healthier decisions in my diet and to start walking and getting some exercise in. But as a busy mom and wife, the 3 months went faster then I thought and I didn't schedule my follow up on time. I ran out of my pills that Tuesday since the doctors office was closed on monday, Memorial day. Thinking I could wait, my appointment was