Yesterday was my day off of work. It couldn't have come at a better time since we are busy and non-stop since Hurricane Matthew had us cancel and reschedule over 80 patients last week pending its arrival. Matthew. The hurricane that never came, thank God.
I spent my day volunteering at my kids school, catching up on my budgeting, and enjoying a lunch date with my hubby. Since it was Wednesday when we usually attend church, I figured I could make a quick trip to Target after I picked up the kids from school since my fridge was almost bare.
I managed to get them earlier since I went right at dismissal time and decided I could bribe them with ice cream beforehand so they could behave and have it really be a quick trip through the aisles. Bad idea! Don't give your kids a sugar rush and expect them to behave. I should have saved it for after!
When we got there, I had 3 missions : picking up a new foundation and lipstick for myself, check out something nice for Emerald (my husband) to wear to our date night concert Friday night, and pick up the usual grocery stuff I pick up there.
Immediately upon entering and heading to the cosmetic aisle, I realized this was going to be a really tiring, trying and not so typical trip to target. Manny was already running through aisles encouraging his little sister to race him as a new beauty consultant tried to offer her help, samples and coupons for all the make up I was looking at. I really didn't need her help as I was focused and determined to have tunnel vision but I was tempted by her offer of samples and coupons! The whole time we were discussing shades, and brands my kids were behind me, hiding behind displays, running into the next aisles and completely out of control. I kept calling them and warning them trying not to lose my patience, and reminding them of our conversation in the car about being on their best behavior. Yet as they calmed down for a couple of minutes, they were back to being rowdy kids on a sugar high. I wanted to scream! The lady didn't seem to get the hint that I should be going now, kept telling me how nice my kids were meanwhile I was so frustrated I couldn't find the words to tell her I need to go and was so embarrassed at my kids behavior.....
Finally after breaking free, we headed to the men's department as I expressed my disappointment and expectations to my kids. They apologized and yet once we get there, they are back in the hangers, and running around as kids who have never been let out of their house. Soooo I kinda let it go, and tried to find something for my husband. Which is funny and complicated. He usually likes what I pick out for him, but he would never look at the same things I pick out for him. So I am trying to text pictures to him with no service in the store and the delay between answers as I have to keep walking to the shoe aisle to receive his response..... I realize how of an impatient person I am and how Much I hate chaos..... He answers. I pick out his size and off to conquer groceries we go.
Again with me being the mean looking mom grabbing her kids by the hand as asking them to please make the right choices and reminding them Target is not a playground.
Finally it feels like we are making progress though by now it feels like its been 2 hours and at this point I know I won't make it to church. But it doesn't even seem I'll make it to my living room to watch it live on T.V. either. I'm tired. Got a million things running through my mind like how much easier it was to do things before kids and just how mentally and physically exhausting this trip has been. Why did I bother to try this today?
But as I am headed down the cereal aisle, I encounter a nice older lady in a motorized shopping scooter telling me how beautiful Emeli's hair is and how handsome my son is. She stops in the middle of the aisle which we have all to ourselves as if we are going to stop and have a conversation. And all I'm thinking is "thank you lady have a nice day, I have to go!". Mean. Cold. I know. But in the middle of my thinking, I hear her say she is sorry to bother me as she is alone and her mother just passed recently. And in the middle of that Aisle, its as If God was telling me : "Stop! I put you here for a reason". Every delay, every annoyance was a setup to put me here at this very moment in the middle of a packed store. And at the same time every stress, every bother in my mind all of a sudden seemed so insignificant. I froze. Immediately realizing there is a need in this cold world and if I am distracted by my needs, my wants, me, me, me then I am not attentive to love those around me, and share the hope I have in Jesus.
The kids helped her get cereals she needed as she was in her scooter as she proceeded to tell me she has lost her mom, her boyfriend this year alone and was in a bad car accident that left her hurt and unable to move a lot. She told me she moved from Ohio and doesn't really have friends or people to talk to. Despite confessing her loneliness, and loss and grief, she kept saying The Lord..... so I asked boldly (so unlike me) ..... " Do you know Jesus?" to which she replied yes! (phew, not too awkward) Yet it seemed as if she doesn't have friends or community or is even walking with Jesus. So I asked her: " Do you have a church home?" to which she replied no. And suddenly as If I couldn't control the words coming out of my mouth or believe that I was saying them as soon as I did.... I proceeded to ask if she would like to come with us, and to take my phone number down so I can encourage her and pray for her. She told me she lived nearby and doesn't drive too much but would love to come. Again, with no control over my mouth, I told her my husband and I wouldn't mind picking her up or helping her out and that it was no coincidence we were both in that empty aisle at the same time...... We exchanged names, and numbers and added her to my contacts as "Marilyn from Target" .... and as I walked away the kids looked at me in complete shock and Manny breaks the silence with "Mom, where do you know her from?"
I never met her before. She was a stranger that seemed to be another nuisance in my trip to target in my selfish mind, yet God had a purpose to put me there and use me as someone to reach her with love, and to meet her need for conversation and possibly help and community in the future. Trust me if there's anything I pray to God about is boldness to speak the Gospel, and to be a light in this world, but yesterday I had no time for it. At least it's what I thought. Yet thankfully, in my selfishness God saw it fit to place me there and place the words in my mouth. My heart broke for her and my mind quickly shifted from my needs to those of people just like her. People we pass by daily not knowing their struggle, or their needs.
Yes I was stressed and stuck, yet I quickly understood my stress is just a vain focus on myself and my issues that distract me from the lost and hurt around me. And I wasn't really stuck because God was in control..... and I did make it back on time to watch church live from church !
Today I encourage you to look around and break out of the "Me" mentality that I was stuck on. I know I am not the only one who day to day is deceived into making life all about us. Our time, our issues, our needs. There is really a hurting world who needs the hope we have in Jesus. The love of a Father who sent His son to die for us so that we may be His children. And the love of genuine friends in the community who can help them with their loss, their grief. A listening ear and caring hands ready to help. I am sure I left Target with something more then what I bought, I left in awe of how good God is and how much the world needs to know. We are a vessel in His hands if only we let Him.....
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