The other day as I went on my daily lunch time walk around the neighborhood of my job, I took a picture of the scenery in the shopping plaza and the sidewalks and streets ahead of me. I thought to myself this is definitely no walk in the park. I am sure I look silly in my medical scrubs walking around alternating between power walking and jogging. Its definitely gotten easier in the past 3 weeks but its still not something that I desire to do. I desire to get fit and healthy. I don't have a specific size or number on the scale but I know that I want to be healthy. However, with the end result in mind, I must do things that are not easy, that are not comfortable, that are not what I prefer and things that I may not like.
Growing up as a kid my only job was to do good in school and do my chores. Those things came easy to me. I don't know why. I never had to study, I didn't find school challenging. Even doing my chores which consisted of doing dishes, making my bed, and laundry seemed easy. The faster I did it, the more free time I had. That was my focus as a kid. Be good in school, and obey my parents. As long as I did, I had no problems with my parents, or my teachers. I wasn't involved in a sport or a music class. I never learned what it was like to practice something, to learn something new, and to be dedicated without giving up. Things were a walk in the park. Simple, quiet, and relaxing.
The problem now is that an adult I'm discovering nothing is as easy as a walk in the park. It has been really hard to change my mentality about food and exercise. It has been difficult to get into the mode of eating smaller meals every 3 hours and of only drinking water instead of soda or sugar filled juices. It has been hard to make the decision to cut my break short and go out to exercise by myself. Its hard to put on my work out dvd and make the commitment to do it everyday after work, after the kids homework, baths and dinner. It is hard to do certain exercises or to try to run for extended periods of time. I can't believe how out of shape I am and I'm starting to see how hard its going to be to get it off.
Hard. Difficult. Not impossible. Anything that you want to accomplish or is important enough will take hard work, dedication and perseverance. Sounds simple enough. You put in work you get results, but maybe you're like me. When I'm out walking in my work uniform feeling silly, starting to get sweaty, starting to have my heart race and my legs hurt, I want to convince myself that I can go back to work and do it another time. When I'm about to eat my turkey and salad with a glass of water, I can try to convince myself that just eating a burger won't hurt, or that I'll start tomorrow. I can easily want to stop all my hard work after only seeing a 2 pound loss in 3 weeks.
But as I wrestle with my weight and my desire to get fit, I remember nothing comes easy.
When Emerald and I first married, I thought we had it all. We were young and in love and nothing could hurt us. However, it wasn't long before the routine set in and I found the everyday stresses of bills, and work starting to form a distance between us. We would focus all our attention on the house, making ends meet, and even all our energy on the kids, their needs, their time, their discipline. Pretty soon, I found myself loving Emerald but not feeling that our marriage was everything I wanted it to be. This is where I found marriage was not easy. I had the desire to make it work. But unless I did something about it and put all my effort into loving my husband and investing in him, then life was going to drive us apart. I had to make a decision to step out of my selfish "unhappy" bubble and instead of placing the blame on him or simply think we grew apart, do something to bring us closer together. It was then I started pouring love and work into my husband and marriage like I hadn't done since we were dating. Notes, texts, letters, little gifts, intentional planning dates and arranging babysitting, putting the kids to bed early and constantly praying over him and for our love to grow. Those were some of the most challenging things I've ever done. Because I wanted him to be the one to do this for me. I wanted him to pursue me and woo me and sweep me off my feet. Like "Hello", don't you know you need to something to keep your wife? During this time I did everything for him without expecting anything in return. And the hard work paid off. He started to see the work I was putting in, he felt encouraged, the spark was lit. We both became intentional at pursuing each other and staying connected. Its a daily choice. A commitment. Hard work.
Same thing with my kids. Everyone thinks parenthood is giving birth, providing shelter, food and love for your kids. But this is hard work too. It kills selfishness , it kills the I in me. It makes me strive for more. I want to not only give them their needs but raise them up to be respectful, tough, loving, kind, and obedient individuals. Its changed things about me as I taught them about honesty and character and doing the right thing when no one is around. It has kept me from giving in to tantrums to build their self control and learn they can't get everything they want. And trust me in the middle of a 30 minute tantrum over who unbuckled the seatbelt first, I want to just put it back on and let them do it, but I'm learning to stay strong and have them learn authority. Have them learn life is not easy. Its more about getting good grades and coming home and doing chores. Its about learning to do things that challenge them, whether its writing a story, playing basketball, or learning how to draw a horse. Its encouraging them that anything they want is going to be hard work but practice and perseverance will get them through.
Working with others, tough. Biting my tongue, tough. Not acting back out of spite, tough. Not saying everything I think, tough. Not being right all the time, tough. Following Jesus, tough. No wonder He told us to carry the cross. The cross He carried was not light. His walk was not short. Knowing that Jesus told us what to expect gives me comfort.
Its funny how little we emphasize to our kids that life will be tough. Maybe we should start preparing them by letting them know, not everyone will share, not everyone will be nice, not everyone will like you, but you have a responsibility to love them anyway.
college: Hard! Marriage: Hard. Kids: hard. Losing weight: Hard. Christianity: Hard..... Anything you want will be work. Your marriage, friendships, family relationships, raising the kids, losing weight, getting fit, training, college, your business, following your dream. It will all take commitment, hard work and a decision to do it and work towards it daily. This has got to be the hardest thing I've ever challenged myself to do. I'm pushing my body to do things its never done, but I know everyday as I do the workouts and eat the right foods.... I am getting closer to my goals. Sometimes all we can do is take it a day at a time and getting things done here today. Our best daily! - cause though life is not easy, no walk in the park, as I am out on my walk all I can focus is on step by step, block after block, I will reach my destination.
today I encourage you to step out into that thing you've been meaning to do but always pushed to the bottom of your to do list. I encourage you to stay commuted, dedicated and determined to make a change. Know it wont be easy, you'll want to quit, you'll want to cry, you will be sore, tired and probably cranky (due to less calorie intake), but focusing on your daily goals and not the long term, will help keep you on track and not give up! Everyday as you rise, just give your day to God and know He will strengthen and guide you to do what you thought was once impossible!
Love, ❤ Meli
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