First of all, if you're reading this: thank you! I appreciate all the support. But I also like to apologize, its been a couple of weeks since I wrote again. The other night I really meant it, but you could blame it on the Heat. Yes I am a hardcore Heat Fan (pre-Lebron)! That game was too intense and had my nerves on edge! After the excitement was over, I ended up falling asleep like the older lady I'm becoming . And yesterday, It was such a disappointing game, who feels like writing after that?
When I started this blog. I felt God was telling me to use my passion for writing and love for people and encouragement to do something for Him! I had always joked I wanted a blog, but never thought anybody would actually read it. But this time, the blog wasn't for me. And it wasn't about having hundreds or thousands of readers, or making my name famous. It was something God placed in my heart to uplift others, to speak truth, to speak love, and bring light and encouragement to anyone reading. I should have known that once you set out to do what God has instructed you it won't come easily or without opposition.
Maybe God is just giving me more experiences to share with others, but the past couple of weeks have been everything from good, and enjoyable to just really really busy. It seems anything and everything has kept me from having time to write.
In the past month or so I've been experiencing the worst migraines ever almost on a daily basis. These make me want to cry and crawl up in a ball and sleep! Its the only relief. I cant take the sensitivity to light and sound and the nausea that accompanies it. It seems lately, not even my old remedy of Motrin 800 and caffeine will do. They ended up getting so bad, that it started to mess with my vision and I finally went into the doctor. Turns out that what I thought were just spring allergies, ended up being a sinus infection. So now I have been referred to a neurologist and on super strong antibiotics for my "allergies". So far, I've been dealing with so many side effects from the meds, that I can't tell if I'm getting any better. This has even been interfering with my motivation to exercise!
In about the same time I've had the blog, our little sweet easy going happy princess has started going through the most terrible two tantrums. I don't seem to understand what triggers them since they come at random times, whether she's wide awake, tired, hungry, or full. But it can be anything from me getting to open the car door first instead of letting her do it, or her wanting to wear a "princess dress" instead of any pants, shorts, or jumpers I pick out for her. This has taught me lots of patience. It also has humbled me, because I never thought I'd be the parent with a kid who throws tantrums. Thankfully, they usually happen at home or in the car, but once they stroke there's no reasoning with her or talking to her. Usually, she has to cry it out. There's things that I refuse to give in to, but I also have to be wise and give her freedom to make choices by picking the most important battles to fight. In a positive light, I'm glad she's so outspoken and determined at such a young age.
Then there's just so much going on with Emmanuel. I love his charter school, but it definitely requires a lot of parent involvement and it is the end of the school year where they are having everything from family nights to getting ready for their kindergarten graduation. He goes to a homework free school so I shouldn't have to spend so much time with him, but all year we hate a kept a notebook where I'll give him work myself. Everything from rhyming words, writing sentences with his spelling words, and even started multiplication! Its been a hectic year for this first year school mom! Picture days, fieldtrips, forms to sign, conferences, and his Gifted assessment!
Last but not least there's the human relationships I cannot abandon to write a blog. I refuse to neglect the real people I interact with while making a blog to reach others. I have been making an effort to keep technology to a minimum and really enjoy every moment with my kids and husband. Also, took time to visit my grandma and aunts that I rarely see. And i have been enjoying going to church more often and meeting new people. And then there's the random messages I get on Facebook, regarding marriage advice which I love to answer!
I can't pinpoint one exact cause for not writing like I ought to, but I do know that when you set out to do something, it won't be easy! You may get worried, distracted, disturbed, and even face setbacks, but keep going! Someone needs your love, your talents, your help, your smile!
No matter what you're going through, whether its a desert like season or everything is great, remember neither lasts forever. There's something to learn in both! But as long as you're obedient to the calling God has placed on your life, He will use it all for your good! Every blessing, every setback, every disappointment He can use for you to bless others.
There's many reasons for me to keep going! 1) God's got me! He orders my steps...
2) I finally got Wifi and a laptop for my mother's day weekend
3) there are people who support me, including my partner, my best friend, my husband who got me a blog charm for my bracelet
4) and its not about me! Nor do we have to wait til we are perfect to be used and do for others :)
Comments
Post a Comment