Growing up in a Hispanic household, things were a bit old
fashioned. My dad worked; Overtime, double shifts, and more than 1 job if
necessary to take care of us. My mom, as far as I could remember in my
childhood was a stay at home mom. As a kid, this is what I envisioned all
marriages were like. My mom was up early to see my dad off for work, and have
breakfast served and his lunch packed. When he worked the overnight, she also
made sure dinner was served at 11pm before his shift. She stayed at home taking
care of us, taking us to the library, playground, outside, anywhere we could go
without a car. I watched my mom serve my dad daily. Day in and day out, washng
dishes, cooking, laundry, and all the to do things in the house while my dad
worked. I never thought any less of any of them. As a kid, I loved having my
mom home and getting to spend time with her. And in my mind, that’s what the
man did, work to provide. Sure, I missed my dad, but the one Saturday a week he
was off, was always full of fun activities and quality time. My parents to me
seemed like a good team, from what I knew they balanced each other, and worked
together and made sacrifices to raise their family. I figured when I got
married, this is how it would be too.
Flash forward to today’s day and age, where more and more
households have 2 working spouses due to high cost of living. Myself
included. Because we got married young, and
had to build together from nothing, we both work full time. My husband works 2
jobs half the year. And that whole idea of being a stay at home mom has gone
out the window. But it hasn’t been a bad thing. With both of us working, we
both have learned the importance of serving.
I think the idea of serving requires humility to put that person's needs above yours, to always have the perspective of gratitude for them, and to see them as your partner, your God given gift. Due to my schedule of being ar work at 6 in the morning, it is my husband who is up getting kids ready for school, making them breakfast and ensuring everyone gets to where they're going before he heads off to work. Then when I get out early, I do the pick up of the children, and head home to get them cleaned up and start doing daily things around the house. I understand he has a harder labor job them I do, and I love to have the house clean smelling nice, and dinner ready when he gets home. But he, in his heart for serving, gets home to take care of the kids, do homework or keep them busy as I cook. If the kids are working independently, then he has no problem coming in the kitchen to help cooking or serving the family dinner. I also love that when I have a rough day at work, he is able to pick up food on the way home or make us breakfast for dinner; his specialty.
Both of us love holding the house to a certain level of clean. I know I border on OCD. But we have learned how to balance it. He knows how I like to keep the house, and I have learned to take it easy. He knows when things need to get done or when he sees me pick up my cleaning sprays, he tells me he will handle a bathroom for me or clean the kitchen. Everything is so much faster when we do it together and I love that he has a heart to get things done. Like I said before I think once you have the mentality of appreciation towards that person, and truly love them selflessly, you do anything to make their life better, easier and to show them that you care for them not only emotionally, or by words but by action. Love is something we live out. We need to find ways to show it. Love is not shown just on special occasions, or date nights, or in the bedroom. It is a daily act of sacrifice and commitment to be each others helper, and server.
I think part of the reason our marriage works so well is because we have come to understand we are a team. 2 people working as 1. We have goals, daily goals, weekly goals, to do lists to check off , errands to run, places to go, the kids to raise and teach and we understand that we are in it TOGETHER. I appreciate all the little things he does in my life, from filling up my gas tank, putting air in my tires, making my breakfast shake, letting me take a long shower while he volunteers to watch the kids. I in return turn more appreciative towards him, taking out the garbage, helping him rake or cut branches in the yard, getting the oil changed, making his appointments, picking up his contacts.
Try it in your marriage. Look at your spouse. Put on your glasses of appreciation. Look at them for everything they are, the person you fell in love with. Value the hardwork they put in everyday at work, or around the house and be intentional in serving them. Stop nagging, or complaining about what they could do or wish they would do. Look at yourself and evaluate your actions towards your partner. Have you forgotten to do the little things that make that person happy and encourage them to be better. Challenge yourself to find ways to serve them and let them know how thankful you are for them. I like leaving little hand written notes by his keys, or in the bathroom so he gets them as soon as he wakes up. And most importantly block out any negative thoughts about them, only see them for everything Good. You will see how your serving starts a cycle of unending serving, humility and appreciation towards one another. Let your motivation be Love, and serving in it. Talk it out...try it.... Keep growing :)
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